Not Fake For Long Read online

  “Hello?” I said once the operator had answered, my voice shaky and still much too loud. “I need an ambulance. Right away. We’re at Airedale Farm. Please, my friend collapsed. Send an ambulance!”

  The operator rattled off a few more things but assured me that help was on its way. As soon as I hung up, I brushed the graying hair out of his face and off his temples.

  Then I clutched his hand and begged him to hang on.

  33

  HARRISON

  When I got out to the farm, I was on a mission to relax. I’d stopped on the way for groceries and beer, and I was determined to drink until my mind shut down and all of these damn thoughts were out of my head.

  Shouldering my laptop bag, I opened the door for Dottie before going around to get the groceries out the back of the truck. The Labrador tore off as soon as she could, racing away in a cloud of dust. I shook my head while I stared after her.

  Like me, she was getting more and more used to being out here. Every time we had to head back to the city, it was more difficult for us to leave.

  While she went off to do whatever it was she did when we arrived, I carried all our stuff inside and packed all the cold stuff away. Grabbing a beer once I was done, I popped the top and set the bottle down on the counter while I filled up Dottie’s bowls.

  I’d left my jacket in the truck along with my tie, so I picked up my beer again and started rolling up my sleeves as I walked back to the porch. Dottie was still nowhere to be seen, but I heard her barking from somewhere down the path near Ashton’s place.

  Speaking of the old man… As I was lowering myself into my chair, I noticed what seemed to be the top of his shotgun sticking out behind the porch.

  I frowned, straightening up again to see exactly what I was looking at. When I realized that it was, in fact, his shotgun, my frown deepened. My head snapped up, and I looked around to see where he was.

  He wouldn’t leave his gun lying around, unattended, which meant he had to be around here somewhere. I couldn’t see him, though, which was odd.

  Whenever his shotgun was out, it was in his hand. It only left his hand when absolutely necessary, and even then, it was never more than a few feet away from him.

  “Ashton?” I called, lifting a hand to shield my eyes from the sun as I searched the stretch of land in front of the house again. “You around, Ash? You left your gun here.”

  I expected to hear his gruff voice replying, maybe coming from around the house if he was trying to listen for that darn chicken snake or something like that. When no reply came, unease stirred in my chest.

  I took the stairs off the porch two at a time and rushed toward Ashton’s place. Dottie was still running around it, jumping up and barking before running a few paces and doing it again.

  The sense of unease became so strong that it twisted my gut. “Dottie? Have you seen the old man? Where is he, girl?”

  She barked again, running up to me and nudging me with her nose before disappearing around the back. Dirt crunched under my feet as I followed, stopping dead in my tracks when I saw his truck was still parked behind the house.

  Walking up to the back door, I knocked and frowned again when it swung open. It also wasn’t like Ashton to leave the farm—with someone else, for a start—and leave his doors open. Especially since he’d been after that snake recently. He knew the bastard was around here somewhere, and it wasn’t likely he’d tempt fate by literally leaving the door open for it.

  Something wasn’t right here. I stuck my hand in my pocket to pull out my phone, but it was in my laptop bag back at my place. I’d tossed it in there before I’d even left the city. Then I’d forgotten all about it.

  “Keep looking for him, girl,” I called to Dottie, deciding I’d go check the barn before I went to get my phone.

  If he was in there mucking stalls and realized I’d panicked just because I hadn’t been able to find him immediately, he’d never let me live it down. I would take whatever shit he threw my way as long as I found him.

  It wasn’t like there were a ton of other people he’d have left the farm with. Ashton didn’t like leaving the farm at all these days unless it was absolutely necessary. He wouldn’t have gone off with Mariana to go shopping or anything like that. Then again, maybe he had. He’d left the farm to go shopping with me in the city just a few days ago.

  My gut said he hadn’t gone off with her or with any of the others for that matter. If he had, the shotgun wouldn’t have been out and left leaning against my porch.

  The only explanation I wanted to accept as possibly correct was that he’d been searching for the snake and had gotten sidetracked. If it wasn’t that, I didn’t even want to think about the alternative. Because that meant something had happened to him.

  Scoffing at myself while I half-jogged to the barn, I tossed the rest of my beer in the trashcan by the door without stopping. “Ashton? You in here?”

  The horses came to their stall doors, but there was still no human anywhere. Moving deeper into the barn, I checked the office and then each of the stalls before concluding that he wasn’t here.

  “Ashton?” I called again, louder this time as I left the barn. “Where are you, buddy? You okay?”

  Pausing for a moment to listen, my heart sank when I still didn’t hear a reply. Something was definitely going on here, and it wasn’t good.

  Cold sweat broke out over my brow, and I decided it didn’t matter if he gave me shit for it. I was worried about him, and if he didn’t like it, then fuck him. Instead of walking or jogging back to my place, I full-out ran.

  There was still no sign of him when I got back, his shotgun leaning in the exact same place while Dottie barked at his house. An ominous feeling sank into my bones. I called for him again, but there was still no answer.

  Taking the stairs two at a time, I barreled into the house and practically tackled my laptop bag. The notification light was flashing on my phone when I pulled it out, and when I unlocked it, I saw I’d missed several text messages and calls from Keira.

  I’d been waiting to hear from her all day, but I hadn’t really believed she would reach out to me today. As much as I wanted to call her back immediately, I needed to find Ashton first.

  As I opened my messaging app to send a text to him, the last one from Keira appeared at the top of the screen. I could only see a part of it since I hadn’t opened it, but the part I saw was just enough to make my blood run cold.

  Keira: Waiting at the hospital. No updates on his condition yet. Please call me back.

  My heart pounded in my chest as I tapped the screen to open the thread. As I read it, I felt myself go pale. Fuck. I should’ve kept my phone on me.

  Keira: Went out to farm to talk to you. Ashton collapsed. On our way to hospital.

  Keira: We’re at the hospital in town. Don’t know what happened yet. I’ll let you know when I know, but you might want to come.

  Keira: Harrison?

  The thread ended with the message I’d read first. I stared at those two words, “Ashton collapsed,” for a beat, unable to comprehend that something might’ve happened to the grizzly old man. Nothing got to him. He was as strong as an ox. But he has been acting weird.

  It was that thought that spurred me into motion. I’d heard that people sometimes had these inexplicable gut feelings when something was about to happen to them, and just the thought that he might’ve had that feeling but hadn’t told me ripped me apart.

  Since I’d just filled up Dottie’s bowls when we’d arrived and she hadn’t even been back in here yet, I knew she’d be fine until I got back. I didn’t like leaving her on the farm alone, but I didn’t have much of a choice. I couldn’t take her to the hospital with me. I’d text Mariana and ask her to keep an eye on her while I was gone.

  For now, I just had to get to the hospital as fast as humanly possible. Grabbing my keys, I ran out to my truck and jumped in. The wheels spun on the dirt when I threw it into gear and put the pedal to the metal.

 
It wasn’t far to the hospital, but the drive seemed to take ages. I was oblivious to my surroundings as I raced to get there, my vision tunneled as I paid attention only to the road that would take me to them.

  When I got there, I drove straight to the entrance and came to a screaming stop right out front. I left the engine running and the door open in my haste to get inside, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except for getting to them and making sure Ashton was okay.

  A security guard called out to me just as I reached the front doors. “Sir! You can’t park there.”

  I ignored him. Let him give me a fucking fine or whatever it is they do here.

  There were a few people around the lobby, but no one even looked at me funny when I raced through it. I supposed it was probably something they were used to seeing around here.

  As the first nurses’ station came into view, the waiting area across from it did as well. Right in the middle of it stood Keira, tears running down her cheeks and both of her hands clasped over her mouth.

  She turned her head slowly toward me, her eyes widening when she realized I was here. I ran right up to her, pulling her into my arms with my heart still trying to climb out of my chest.

  “Shh, I’m here now,” I said, speaking into her hair as I rested my cheek on her head. “What’s going on? What happened? Is he okay?”

  Sobs wracked her body, her shoulders shaking as she clung to me. She lifted her head away from my chest after a minute but didn’t let go of me.

  Her gaze lifted slowly to mine, and the devastation in her eyes made my heart break. She hadn’t even said anything yet, but I already knew.

  He wasn’t okay.

  34

  KEIRA

  As I stared up into Harrison’s beautiful hazel orbs, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how I was supposed to tell him news like this, especially after I’d essentially told him to leave the wedding when he’d only volunteered to go to help me out.

  Still looking into his eyes, I saw the moment he saw the news in mine. His nostrils flared, his brow puckered, and then he shut his eyes.

  I waited him out, feeling his chest rising and falling on several deep breaths before he opened his eyes again. When they came to mine, I tightened my grip on him and blew out a shuddering breath.

  “I’m so sorry, Harrison. He’s gone,” I whispered. “It was a heart attack. I did everything I could, but the doctor said there was just too much damage.”

  “Fuck.” He released me to drag both hands over his face, scrubbing them over it a few times. When he looked at me again, his eyes were red-rimmed but his jaw was set with determination. “Where is he? Do you know? I’d like to see him, and the doctor.”

  “I don’t know where he is,” I said, taking a step away from him and swiping the tears away from my cheeks. “The doctor said we can page him any time if we have questions. Do you want me to go ask the nurses to do that?”

  He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut for another moment. “I’ll do it. What’s his name?”

  “Dr. Jacobson. Are you sure you don’t want to sit down for a minute? I can go get you some water and ask them to page him.”

  Harrison shook his head again, then cleared his throat and rocked back on his heels as he slid his hands into his pockets. “No, it’s fine. You can leave if you want to. Is your car here?”

  “Yes, it is. I followed the ambulance here. They wouldn’t let me ride with him because I’m not family.”

  “Thank you for being there with him when I wasn’t,” he said, his voice tight. “I really appreciate it, but I should go now.”

  He started turning after giving me a curt nod, but I reached out to grab his hand before he could walk away. “Do you want me to stay with you? I can stay if you need me to.”

  “Don’t stay,” he said, pausing for a beat before he looked at me again. There was so much torment in his eyes that all I wanted to do was take him into my arms and keep him there, but the vibe he was giving off made me hold back.

  It wasn’t exactly a fuck-off vibe, but it was pretty damn close. He exhaled heavily and drew his hand back from mine. “Look, I’m not trying to be rude here and this isn’t because of yesterday. I just need to be alone for a while, okay?”

  I searched his gaze, looking for even the slightest trace that he wanted me to stay even though he was telling me to leave. There was nothing like that there, though. The only thing I saw was that torment and so much hurt that it sent a bolt of pain through me.

  “I understand,” I said finally. “Let me know if you need anything? I can bring you some food or help you with the arrangements. Anything you need.”

  “I’ll text you later.” He raked a hand through his hair, his head dipping in a terse nod before he strode away toward the nurses’ station.

  Rooted to my spot, I watched him for a minute while he conversed with one of the nurses. She gave him a sympathetic smile, nodded, and motioned him back to the waiting area. Since he’d made it very clear that he didn’t want me here right now, I took off before he came back to where I was still standing.

  The adrenaline of trying to get Ashton to the hospital in time, the shock of hearing about his passing, and the exhaustion of my sleepless night all caught up to me on my way home. While I hadn’t known Ashton very well, I was gutted by the fact that he was gone.

  I kept picturing him bickering with Hailey just a few weeks ago, looking like the picture of strength and health on the back of his horse. It was unbelievable to me that he could be gone. I’d seen him just a week ago when I’d been out on the farm with Harrison.

  Ashton had spent the whole day we’d been there bustling about, fixing things, and giving Harrison shit for taking the day off. Late in the afternoon before Harrison had driven me back to the city, he’d even had coffee with us.

  It was just impossible to wrap my head around the fact that he’d been right there, standing in front of me talking to me one minute, and gone the next. How did something like that happen? He hadn’t been old, fragile, or sickly.

  Intermittently bursting into tears as I replayed the events of the day in my head while on my way home, I was a mess of emotions by the time I trudged up the four stories to my apartment. I’d hardly closed the door behind me when someone knocked.

  Jamie’s voice rang out before she knocked again. “Helloooo? I know you’re here. I saw you coming into the building just as I came around the corner.”

  “I’m here,” I said, retracing the few steps I’d taken away from the door back to it. I opened it but left her to close it again as I drifted to the living room. “I’m not going to be excellent company, though. It’s been a terrible day.”

  “Why?” She frowned as the door clicked behind her. I sagged down on the couch, closing my eyes as fresh tears filled them. The cushion dipped, and then I felt her sitting down next to my legs. “Are you okay? You’re super pale.”

  “I don’t think I am.” I released a breath into my hands before lifting them away from my face. “Someone I knew passed away today. I was right there when he collapsed. I tried to help him, Jamie. I really did. I called the ambulance. I even tried CPR. It didn’t make any difference.”

  “Shit,” she muttered under her breath, then stood up. “I’m going to make you some really sweet tea. When I get back, you can tell me all about it, okay? Stay here. Just breathe. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  I zoned out while listening to her bustling around in the kitchen. In my mind’s eye, I saw Harrison and Ashton waiting for us that first day we’d arrived on the farm. I cycled through the few memories I had of him and found myself wishing that I’d known him better.

  It seemed wrong that after having lived an entire life, I was the last person he’d had a conversation with. And it hadn’t even been about anything vitally important. What he’d said had meant a lot to me, sure, but it just felt like a person’s last few minutes talking to someone else should be about more than giving a near-stranger advice on her love life.
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  On the other hand, the way he’d spoken about Harrison had made it clear that he’d loved him. Perhaps even like a son. Maybe he wouldn’t have regarded it as a waste if it meant Harrison got to be happy. Not that I knew if he’d be happy with me or if he even wanted to be with me.

  So maybe his last conversation could’ve been meaningful if it had been with someone Harrison actually wanted advice to be given to. I groaned out loud. My thoughts were so jumbled, I wasn’t even sure if I was following them anymore.

  “Drink this,” Jamie said when she came back into the room, holding out a steaming cup of tea. “There’s about as much sugar in there as water. Just a warning.”

  Sitting up as slowly and gingerly as a hundred-year-old might, I took the cup from her and brought it to my lips. “Thanks. I’m sure it’ll help. For the inside if not the outside.”

  “What’s wrong with the outside?” she asked, giving me a long onceover. “Did you get hurt?”

  I shrugged, wiping more tears away before sighing. “Not really. I was just already feeling like a truck had hit me before I’d even gone out to the farm. Now it feels like everything hurts, but my heart and my brain are in shambles.”

  A crease appeared between her brows and worry clouded her usually clear blue eyes. “I think it’s time for you to tell me what happened.”

  Getting the explanation out was more difficult than I’d have thought it would be. I got all choked up at parts, but Jamie’s sugar syrup masquerading as tea helped. When I was done telling her about it, I rested my head back against the couch.

  “Do you think it’s normal to be feeling guilty?” I asked, my voice hoarse.

  She nodded. “I think anything you’re feeling right now is normal. That’s a hell of a thing to have been through, even if it isn’t someone you were very close to.”

  My heart ached for Harrison, wanting more than anything to be with him right then. “I should’ve stayed, shouldn’t I?”