Our Little Secret Page 18

  “You’re wrong,” I said. “You’re wrong to assume she is making a mistake. We are both excited for the baby. I will not allow you to call our child a mistake. That baby is part of you as well. She wants you to be in our child’s life. I do as well, but I’ll be damned if I let you come around if you’re going to think of my child like that. You need to figure out what’s more important to you.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Do you want to hold on to this idea of what you think she should be and who she should be, or do you want to love and support her for the amazing woman she is?”

  “You don’t understand the disappointment that comes from seeing your child struggle and make mistakes,” he said.

  I pointed a finger at him. “There you go again. She isn’t struggling. She hasn’t made a mistake. If you’re feeling disappointed, you should take a look at your own life.”

  “She is going to struggle,” he insisted. “She chose a path that is going to lead to trouble.”

  I smirked. “Did you plan on her ever having children?”

  “I assumed she would get married and possibly have children once she was settled.”

  I nodded. It wasn’t her he was disappointed in. It was, but it was her getting pregnant by a man that wasn’t her husband. A man that had not gone through the whole process of impressing her daddy first.

  I got to my feet. “Well, I guess that’s that. I’ve said my piece. I’m feeling pretty damn fortunate she’s having my baby. I can’t wait for our child to meet her. Our baby is going to be the luckiest kid on the planet. She’s going to be a great mother. I’d like to say you could take some credit for that, but after this conversation, I’m not so sure.”

  “I’m not sure you have the right to talk to me like that,” he said.

  “I do because she’s the woman I’m going to protect like no other. I’m going to do everything I can to make her happy. You are not making her happy, which means I get to talk to you any damn way I please. You know where to find her.”

  I walked out of his office and was halfway back to my car when I heard my name being called. I turned to see Brad walking toward me. I waved at him. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I was going to ask you the same,” he said. “I had to come by to pick up some paperwork before the semester gets started. Is that what you’re doing?”

  I shook my head. “No. I came to talk to the dean.”

  “You mean your baby mama’s daddy?” he joked.

  “Very funny. Since you’re here, got a minute?”

  He shrugged. “Sure, what’s up?”

  We walked to a bench and sat down. “Tell me if I just completely fucked up.”

  “I doubt that’s even possible with you.” He laughed. “You’re the king of perfect, at least until you knocked up the dean’s daughter.”

  Hearing him say it versus when I said it was very different. “He keeps calling it a mistake. He hurt her feelings by telling her how disappointed he is in her. It’s really weighing on her. He acts like she committed a felony. Like she went on a binge and screwed the football team before getting pregnant.”

  “You’re offended?” he asked.

  “No, I guess I am a little, but mostly I’m pissed that he’s treating her so badly. He isn’t talking to her.”

  “It’s fucked up, but I don’t know how you can fix it. I think you already fucked up when you got her pregnant.”

  “Well, if you think that’s bad, I should tell you I just had a conversation with the dean about what an asshole I think he is.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “You didn’t?”

  I nodded. “I did. I didn’t call him an asshole directly, but I made it clear I was not happy with him. I told him she was an amazing woman, not the train wreck he’s making her out to be. I informed him he would not be welcome in my child’s life if he continued to call him or her a mistake. I will not let my child feel like he is worthless because his grandpa has his head up his ass. He doesn’t get to make him feel like he ruined his mother’s life. The dean is convinced she’s thrown away her entire life because she decided to have a kid. It’s fucking stupid. He’s acting like we’re in the Dark Ages.”

  “You’re pissed because he’s insulting you by assuming you can’t or won’t take care of River or the baby,” he said.

  “Yeah, that does piss me off, but seriously, it’s her that I’m the most pissed about. She’s the perfect dutiful daughter and the first time she does something that goes against what he thinks is the only way, he practically disowns her.”

  “What did you do?” he asked. “You said you fucked up.”

  “I told you. I told him his daughter is amazing. Period. I might not have done it in the most respectful manner. I just picked a fight with one of the men that will decide if my contract is renewed. He can make or break my run for tenure. I told him I could and would take care of River and the baby, but I might have just talked my way out of a job. I’m not sure that was the smartest move.”

  “Do you feel better?”

  I nodded. “I do.”

  “Then I would say it was the right move. A man has to stand up for the woman he loves, and before you deny it, I know you love her.”

  “I was not going to deny it,” I said. “I suppose I could always get a job at the community college. It is going to be a major wrench in my plans. I might need to convince River we have to relocate.”

  “What about your family?” he asked. “You moved them all up here to be close to you. Now you want to move?”

  “I don’t want to move, but I have to be able to take care of my family.”

  He grinned. “Your family. Look at you. It’s like I’m talking to a different man.”

  “I guess we all have to grow up one day. Today is my day.”

  “For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing,” he said. “I don’t know if it was the best thing, but it was the right thing and that’s what will help you sleep better at night.”

  He was right. “Thanks. I guess we’ll see what happens next.”

  He clapped me on the shoulder. “Good luck.”

  29

  River

  This was the one time I wanted to look pregnant. I was wearing the new, gently used maternity dress I got at the little boutique Gwen and I found a couple of weeks ago. It didn’t make sense to me to buy a bunch of new clothes I would only wear for a few months. The recycled clothes were all in great shape and half the price.

  I added a little pale lipstick and slipped on my wedges. Lukas was terrified I would trip in my other heels. I tried to assure him I was very good in heels, but he worried a lot about everything. The wedges were barely acceptable.

  I heard him knock and shouted for him to come in. “I’m almost ready,” I called out.

  “You’re going to be late to your own baby shower,” he said as he walked into my room.

  “I’m almost ready,” I told him.

  He leaned against the doorframe and looked me up and down. “You look pretty,” he said.

  “I look pregnant.”

  “Newsflash, you are,” he said with a laugh.

  I checked my reflection one last time. “Okay. I’m ready. I feel silly doing this early.”

  “Too late to change your mind now,” he said. “Everyone is looking forward to meeting you.”

  “Your family is going to make up the bulk of the shower,” I said. “I don’t think my dad is going to show up. It’ll just be Gwen representing me.”

  “My family is going to love you,” he said. “Trust me, they aren’t representing me. They all know I’m just the guy that planted my seed inside you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “No one calls it a seed.”

  “My sperm fertilized your egg?”

  I groaned. “I swear, if there is any talk about fertilizing me or impregnating me, I will scream.”

  He laughed and kissed my cheek. “I will be on my best behavior.”

  He kept his h
and on my elbow as we walked downstairs. I didn’t mind his attentiveness. He took care of me in every way. He drove me to Gwen’s house. “It looks like we might be the first ones here,” he said.

  “I can’t wait to see what she’s done,” I said. “I’m suddenly very excited for this shower.”

  The yard was decorated with pastel yellow and green balloons in pretty bouquets to let everyone know we were at the right place. Her tiny house was going to be bursting at the seams with the number of people on the guest list.

  We knocked on the door and waited. It was all very real all of a sudden. I rested my hand on my belly and leaned into the moment. This was all for him or her. The people that showed up today were going to be a part of his life. This was the first display of love.

  “You’re here!” Gwen exclaimed.

  She pulled open the door and pulled me inside. “Gwen! This is beautiful!”

  After making quick introductions between the two, my gaze circled the space and all that Gwen had accomplished. She had gone all out. The living room and dining area were decorated in the gender-neutral colors I asked for. Everything looked so soft and inviting and professional. “Did you do this yourself?” I asked with shock.

  “I did,” she said with a grin. “Hold on, you have to wear the Mommy-To-Be crown.”

  “Look at this place,” I said to Lukas.

  “It’s impressive,” he said with a nod. “It’s very baby-like.”

  “I want her to decorate the nursery, when the baby gets a nursery that is.”

  “I agree,” he said.

  “Here you go,” Gwen said and put a crown on my head and pinned me with a giant ribbon that identified me as the mom-to-be. I wasn’t sure how that could be questioned, but I was happy to go along with it.

  “It is gorgeous,” I told her. “You did great.”

  “Thank you,” Gwen said. “I think this could be one of my careers.”

  “What could be a career?”

  “This whole party thing,” she said. “I met with the advisor. I’m only two credits from getting my interior design degree. I also have that event-planning certification. Oh, and I guess I also have enough culinary arts credits to get an AA. This just might be my niche.”

  “You are very good at it,” I told her. “With those classes under your belt, you could be a full one-woman show. Take lots of pictures of this. It is gorgeous and will be a great reference.”

  “Thanks,” she said. “Come check out the appetizers I made.”

  “Gwen, you really outdid yourself,” Lukas said.

  “I only wish we knew if we could go pink or blue,” she pouted.

  “I like it like this,” I told her. “I like the mystery.”

  “But are you going to find out the gender?” Gwen asked.

  I looked at Lukas who answered with a shrug. “We’re not sure yet. I had the ultrasound, but they couldn’t tell. I took that as a sign we weren’t supposed to know. I don’t mind.”

  “I mind,” she complained. “No matter. I’ll spoil him or her once the grand entrance is made. Now, I have games planned first. Then we’ll do cake while you open your gifts. Both of you open gifts. Showers these days are a little different than the ones I remember going to with my mom.”

  “And you’re sure this is okay?” Lukas asked. “I have to say this is my first baby shower. My dad thought I was crazy when I told him we wanted all of them here.”

  “This is the way it is,” Gwen said. “Trust the party planner.”

  “I will from here forward,” I said. “You just screwed yourself, because now, you have to plan every event. The first birthday. The first day of school. Graduation.”

  She laughed and didn’t seem to be the least bit concerned by the idea. “I’m in.”

  The doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of the first guests. I was suddenly very nervous. This was the first time meeting his family and I was doing it all at once. I hoped they staggered their arrivals. I wanted to meet them all. I was glad I knew Lincoln and Mara, but they were a fraction of the clan.

  “Mom, Dad,” Lukas greeted his parents.

  I was relieved to see it was just the two of them. His mom walked straight to me and threw her arms around me. “It’s so nice to meet you, River. We’ve heard so much about you.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” I said before immediately being embraced by his father.

  It was clear to see where Lukas got his size from. I only got a few minutes to talk with them before his two sisters with their husbands arrived. Lincoln and his wife arrived not long after. I felt like the belle of the ball. Everyone wanted to talk to me. His sisters were nice and had lots of advice about the pregnancy and Lukas. I felt like I was seeing a whole other side to the man as I watched him with his family.

  He held himself in a way that made him appear stuffy and wealthy. Seeing him with his family was totally different. He laughed. He was relaxed, even in his half suit. The man loved to look the part of a wealthy CEO.

  “Hello,” I heard a man say.

  I turned around to see a familiar face. “Brad, right?”

  He grinned. “I knew I made an impression on you.”

  I laughed and shook his hand. “Yes, you did.”

  “Just so we’re clear, that was all a setup,” he said. “I knew Lukas liked you. I was just breaking the ice for him.”

  I nodded and smiled. “Of course, and you did such a good job at it.”

  He made a point of looking at my belly. “Obviously.”

  “Stop hitting on my woman,” Lukas said and came to stand beside me with his arm around my shoulders.

  “Yeah, I think you made it pretty clear she’s yours,” Brad said and held up his hands. “You could have put a tattoo on her forehead instead.”

  “This way was a lot more fun,” Lukas said with a laugh and earned himself a slap against his hard chest.

  We were talking and laughing when I saw the front door open. I thought everyone had arrived. My father walked in carrying a gift wrapped in yellow with a rubber duck strapped to the top, and I almost cried.

  “He came,” I whispered.

  Lukas kissed the top of my head. “Good. I’m happy.”

  “I’m going to talk to him,” I told him.

  I walked over to my dad, who looked just a little overwhelmed by the number of people packed into Gwen’s little house. “Hi, Dad,” I said.

  “Hi. I brought this.” He thrust the package at me.

  “Thank you, I’ll put it on the table. Do you want some punch?”

  “Yes,” he said.

  I led him away from the bulk of the crowd. “I’m really glad you came.”

  “I couldn’t miss my first grandbaby’s shower,” he said with a soft smile.

  My heart practically flipped over in my chest. This was a huge first step in the right direction. I hoped it meant we were good. “Gwen went all out,” I said.

  “I see that. I hope you get everything you need. If not, grandpa is going to be busy shopping.”

  I gave him a hug. “That pile says I might be in pretty good shape after today.”

  We talked for a few minutes before Lukas appeared at my side like he so often did. “Dean,” he said and extended his hand to my father.

  My dad laughed and shook his hand. “I think it’s appropriate for you to call me Dave,” Dad said. “It sounds a little formal. Dave or grandpa.”

  I almost jumped up and down and clapped. This was the healing I was hoping for. Lukas told me he confronted my father. At first, I had been upset with him for making the situation worse. Then I understood why he did it. He cared about me and was doing all he could to take care of me. I couldn’t be mad at him for that. Apparently, it worked. He was here. He wanted to be grandpa.

  I caught Gwen looking at us. She put her hands over her heart and smiled. I nodded, thanking her for doing this for me. For my family.

  “Who’s ready to get this party started?” Gwen hollered.

  There was a
round of applause. With the help of guests, she set up chairs around the room. Lukas escorted me to the one chair that was decorated with yellow and green bows. I felt like a princess. It was going to be hard to give up all this attention.

  “Blindfolds, everyone,” Gwen called out as she passed out the blindfolds.

  “What do you have planned?” I asked.

  “It’s our first game. The winner of this game gets a gift card to Starbucks.”

  A round of applause followed her announcement. I was going to have to do something big for her after this. She really went all out. I glanced over at Lukas. He had on a pink blindfold and was grinning like a fool. I was so glad we got to do this together. I grabbed his hand and squeezed. “I’m so going to kick your ass at this game,” I told him.

  “Go ahead. You can’t have coffee. I still win.”

  Everyone laughed and the game began.

  30

  Lukas

  I was actually enjoying myself. I had never been to a baby shower, but my sisters seemed to dread the things. They looked like they were having fun as well. Gwen kicked some serious ass today. I just hoped my portion of the party went off as well.

  Gwen and I had discussed the surprise I had at length. I wanted to do a gender reveal to surprise River. I asked the doctor to tell her she couldn’t tell the sex of the baby with the sole intention of surprising her. I didn’t want to do what everyone else did. Gwen wanted to keep it simple with a cake baked either pink or blue. I wanted to do something a little bigger. Not “earthquake, burn the neighbor’s house down” kind of big, but something she would not forget.

  I glanced over at Dean Miller. Scratch that, Dave. I had to find a way to separate the two. He seemed to be enjoying himself as well. I was certain there was still a conversation to be had between the two of us. I wasn’t really looking forward to that conversation, but it had to happen. We needed to clear the air. I was just glad he showed up. It clearly made her day.

  The games came to an end. Gwen was giving everyone a chance to use the bathroom and grab more refreshments. I jerked my head to the side in a signal to get Gwen’s attention. She pointed to a door. I casually gestured for Brad to join us. This whole thing hinged on him. He supposedly had some experience in this department. His brother-in-law had done a gender reveal that impressed everyone involved. I was counting on him to give me something big and impressive.