Our Little Secret Read online

  “You sound like you are trying to convince me you don’t actually work with her.”

  “Workplace romance is so common,” Mara said with a smile.

  “It isn’t a romance,” I said. “It can’t be. We work at the university together.”

  “And?” Lincoln said.

  “And it’s not allowed.”

  “You’re a grown man,” Mara said. “I think you can make your own decisions. You know what you want, and you want her. A rule like that seems to be slight overreach.”

  “It’s not that simple,” I said. “They look down on the idea because it can cause drama. They don’t want it to become bigger than the education. I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad policy, but it is what it is.”

  “Dude, this is the first woman you’ve wanted in forever,” Lincoln said. “Why in the hell wouldn’t you go after her?”

  “I’m not talking about it,” I said. “We’re friends. We can’t have anything more. She doesn’t want to risk it and I agree. I want tenure. Violating this rule could cost me everything I’ve worked for.”

  “Bullshit,” Lincoln said. “You want her.”

  “We’re friends,” I insisted. “Not even friends. Acquaintances really.”

  Mara leaned forward. “Friends with benefits,” she whispered. “And don’t try to deny it. I saw the way she looked at you and vice versa. When you guys were up on that stage, it looked like there was going to be a baby in nine months.”

  I scoffed. “Gross! Lincoln, control your woman.”

  “I saw it too,” he said. “There was a lot of grinding. A lot of heat. We’ve got two little humans that are proof about what that kind of stuff leads to.”

  I looked up and saw her coming out of the bathroom. “Shit, I’ve got to go pick a song. You two don’t say a word to her. We have made it very clear we are nothing more than friends. It can’t be anything more. We both like our jobs and refuse to jeopardize them. Don’t make this weird.”

  “Who’s telling the boss?” Mara called out as I walked away. “Your secret is safe with us!”

  River heard her and looked at me with a question on her face. I shook my head. “Don’t ask,” I said. “They’ve had a little too much to drink.”

  “We all have,” she said. “Did you pick a song?”

  “Uh, not yet. I’ll pick something random.”

  “I have an idea,” she said and talked to the guy running the karaoke machine. When she came back, she had a naughty smile on her face. “Just remember, we’re not having sex again.”

  I groaned. “You’re so going to tempt me.”

  She flashed a grin. “Absolutely.”

  17

  River

  This was bad. So, so bad. When I asked the guy for recommendations for a duet, he showed me the list. Nothing jumped out until I got to the one by LL Cool J. It was an oldie but a goodie. It was one I had danced to back in my very brief stint on the wild side.

  “Ready?” I asked him.

  “What is it?”

  The lyrics popped up on the screen about a second before the music started. He laughed. “I know this song.”

  “Good.”

  It was the wrong song to sing. I could have probably resisted him, but the song choice had me thinking of only one thing. Hell, when we stepped off the little stage, I was pretty sure everyone was thinking about sex. Lincoln and Mara quickly made their excuse to go home. Something about the babysitter calling.

  “They’re lying,” Lukas said. “That little performance got them all hot and bothered.”

  “They aren’t the only ones,” I murmured.

  “You ready to go?” he asked in a husky voice.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll call a ride,” he said as we walked out of the bar and into the cool night air.

  The chill in the air should have cooled my jets. He put his phone in his pocket. “Ten minutes.”

  I looked at him and it was all over. How could I possibly resist a man that fucking sexy? He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt with a leather jacket. I liked him in this dressed-down look. It showed off his fine ass and the shirt was just tight enough to highlight the flat stomach and muscular arms. He was sex on a stick, and I was the woman faced with the dilemma of going home with him. I knew the option was on the table. One more time couldn’t hurt. I already broke the rule. I couldn’t break it more.

  His eyes were locked on mine. I saw the hunger. It was a reflection of my own desire. His hand reached out and cupped the back of my neck before his mouth closed over mine. My hands immediately threaded through his hair and pulled his face closer to mine. He dropped his arms and wrapped them around me. The kiss intensified and probably would have gotten us to the point of public indecency when a horn blared.

  He pulled his mouth from mine and laughed. “Oops.”

  “We still have at least five minutes,” I said.

  His arms were still around my waist. He backed me up until we were in the narrow alley between the bar and the building next door. “Ever done it in an alley?” he asked in a whisper.

  I wasn’t entirely sure he was joking. “No.”

  He kissed me with his tongue pushing inside my mouth and halfway down my throat. His body pressed against mine. He was all hard muscle and I wanted nothing more than to have him right there in the alley. I didn’t care that someone might see us. I was hot and ready and aching for his touch. His hand slid between our bodies and grasped my breast. He squeezed and gently pulled.

  I cried out. “Dammit, I need you.”

  He stepped back. “I have to stop or I’m going to fuck you up against this wall.”

  He ran his hands through his hair. It broke free of the hair product and looked wild. He looked wild. I reached out and put my hand against his chest. “I almost let you,” I said with a small laugh.

  A ping came from his pocket. “Ride’s here!”

  He grabbed my hand and practically dragged me to the car. He kept his hand in mine as the driver maneuvered down the street. I realized we were going to my place, which was a very good thing because my place was closer than his.

  “Thanks,” I said as we hopped out of the car and rushed upstairs. I managed to get my front door unlocked but it wasn’t easy with his hands roaming over my body. He stood close behind me. Close enough that I could feel the heat radiating off him. I pushed the door open and was propelled forward with his body.

  He pushed me against the wall and kissed me again. I reached out and slammed the door closed before I attacked his body with all the pent-up frustration I had been feeling while waiting for the car. I jerked at his shirt and pushed it up. He pulled away from me for a split second, just long enough to rip the shirt over his head.

  “Fuck,” he groaned. “You’ve got me so hot.”

  “Off,” I moaned and tried to undo his jeans. I wanted the man naked. It wasn’t even a want. It was a need. I had to have him. I needed him inside me. I was on the verge of coming with just the foreplay. The song and the dancing had pushed me right up against the edge.

  He ignored my request for his jeans to drop and pushed my sweater over my head. He dropped his mouth to the side of my neck while his hands worked to get my pants down. I kicked off my shoes with a little effort and wiggled out of my pants with his help. He quickly unhooked my bra and dropped it to the floor.

  “Damn,” he whispered. “You have me thinking so many things. All I want to do is bury myself inside your sweet pussy.”

  “Yes,” I groaned. “Do it.”

  “Not yet,” he said and disappeared from my view.

  He dropped to his knees and looked up at me with his hands on my hips. “Lukas?” I asked with confusion. This was going to be difficult if he was— “Oh god!” I cried out.

  His mouth closed over my core. His tongue lashed over my folds before pushing inside me. My knees buckled and I would have fallen to the floor in a heap if he hadn’t held me up with his hands on my hips. I could do nothing except moan and feel. M
y hands ran through his hair while his tongue lapped over my clit. He was driving me mad. He was making me see stars dancing before my eyes.

  “Lukas, I’m close,” I whimpered. This was new to me. I didn’t know whether to scratch at him or drop to the floor. I could feel the orgasm spiraling. He didn’t stop his attentions to the most sensitive part of my body.

  The orgasm broke over me, but he didn’t let up. His tongue lapped and sucked as I exploded. My head bounced against the wall as I struggled to gain control of myself. He rose to his feet and took my hand. I directed him as he led me into the bedroom on legs that felt weak and shaky.

  I sat on the edge of the bed and he stripped off his jeans. He pulled a condom out of the back pocket and kicked them out of his way. With his eyes locked on mine, he sheathed himself before stepping to the edge of the bed.

  “Lay back,” he ordered in a voice thick with desire.

  I did as he asked and slid up the bed to rest my head on the pillows. He climbed onto the bed and rested on his knees between my legs. His hand reached out and gently caressed over my thighs before sliding the tip of his finger over my wet, swollen folds. My arms stretched out on either side of me as my body arched and instinctively moved toward him.

  He did it again, sliding his finger over my clit before pushing inside me. I watched him as he stared at what he was doing between my legs. Watching him watch me was erotic and quickly pushing me toward another orgasm. He pushed in a second finger. I could hear his ragged breathing and knew I was going to explode in a moment. My body writhed under his ministrations. I was trying to get away and get closer at the same time.

  “Go,” he grunted. “You’re there.”

  My back arched, pushing his fingers deeper inside me as the release flowed through my body. I heard my own keening and closed my eyes to delve into the moment of pure bliss. He was over me in a flash and pushing inside me even as my body still quivered and spasmed.

  He dropped his mouth to mine and kissed me while moving his hips. The beauty of him riding me had me smiling up at him. I reached up to caress his cheek. He turned his head and pulled my fingertips into his mouth and sucked. I closed my eyes and gave over to the sensations coursing through my body. He rode me until he was shouting my name as he exploded deep inside me.

  I rose up and kissed him. He collapsed beside me, and for one brief moment, I was certain this was the best thing in the world to happen to me.

  Then I was hit with reality. I wiggled out from under him and climbed out of bed. Shame and dread cloaked me while I jerked open my dresser drawer and pulled on some panties. I found a sleep shirt and pulled it on.

  “You have to go,” I said.

  He looked at me with obvious confusion. “What?”

  “You can’t stay here.”

  I found a pair of sweats and jerked them on as well. I needed to cover my body, or I was going to be tempted to hop right back into that bed with him.

  He looked down at his naked body. “Something wrong?” he asked.

  “Yes. You. This. We can’t do this. Not again. That was the last time. You have to go.”

  He sat up and wiped a hand over his face. “What happened? One minute, you were all too eager to get me naked, and now, you’re acting like it’s the worst thing you’ve ever done.”

  “It is. You need to go.”

  He smirked and shook his head. “Got it. Can I get dressed first or should I leave as I am?”

  I picked up his jeans and tossed them at him. “I’ll get your jacket,” I said and rushed out of the bedroom.

  “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I mumbled under my breath. I picked up his shirt and jacket and carried them into the room. He grabbed his phone from the pocket of his jacket and, I assumed, ordered another ride.

  “You know, this was not my plan,” he said.

  “It isn’t going to happen again,” I said.

  He nodded. “I know. It won’t.”

  He pulled on his shoes before slipping on his jacket. He looked at me one more time. I could see he wanted to say something. I shook my head. He nodded and walked out of the bedroom. I heard my front door open and close.

  That was that. I blew out a breath and walked into the living room to lock the door. I half-expected him to come back and try to have the last word. I stood in front of the door and thought about calling him back inside.

  I couldn’t. It would only end up with me wanting him again. I couldn’t have him. He was one of the few men in this world that was off limits to me. I felt horrible for using him and then throwing him out, but he knew this was a dead end. He didn’t want to risk his career either. We both knew this was never going to be an affair. It was a two-night stand.

  “No more,” I said with conviction.

  I didn’t care how good the sex was. It could not and would not happen again.

  18

  Lukas

  I couldn’t call it a mistake. It might be a mistake, but it was hard to think of something so amazing as a mistake. Oddly enough, I had a moment of weakness and actually considered finding another university to work at. That had been a very weak, fleeting moment. I wasn’t going to quit my job for a one-night stand. Two nights technically, but it wasn’t going to happen. There had to be another woman out there for me. I wanted one just like her.

  I checked my watch. I had stalked her just a little. I knew she was in class right now and couldn’t be in her office. It was a stupid, childish game. It had been three weeks since that night together. Three weeks since I had seen her. I was going out of my way to avoid her. I had a feeling she was doing the same.

  We were dangerous together. We had this natural connection. It was something that couldn’t be severed. I tried. I knew she had tried. The best thing to do was avoid her altogether. We couldn’t be trusted to be in the same vicinity. I had no doubt in my mind what would happen if we happened to run into each other in the hall.

  I would love to pull her into my office and do her on my desk. I was doing a great job avoiding her in the physical sense, but mentally, she was all I thought about. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I went to bed at night thinking about her and me together. In the morning, I thought about her and tried to come up with a way we could be together.

  Then I remembered I was a career man. I was dedicated to making my goals a reality. I just needed to avoid her a little longer. Eventually, I would forget about her. I wouldn’t remember the way it felt to be inside her. The memory of what it was like to touch her and kiss her would fade. Then avoiding her wouldn’t be necessary.

  I felt like I was a thief skulking around. I got into my office and closed the door. I only had a few things to do and then it was back out to the parents’ house. It was my aunt’s birthday celebration. My large family meant there was at least one birthday a month. I couldn’t complain too much. I liked hanging out with them. Usually.

  After finishing up in the office, I turned off the lights and slowly opened my door. All was quiet. I quickly walked out and hauled ass out of the building. I hated what I was doing, but it was for the best. I had a feeling if I waited around long enough, I would catch her doing the same thing. Neither of us wanted to run into each other. She made that very clear when she threw me out of her apartment.

  When I arrived at my parents’ house, I had to park several houses away. I was the last to arrive and all the good parking spots were taken. I smiled when I saw the Halloween decorations that were at least as old as I was, maybe older. My parents were firm believers in “waste not, want not.” The decorations were relatively functional. They weren’t fancy. They didn’t move or sing. It was the effort that counted. Although, the effort was way ahead of the Halloween game. I supposed they wanted to beat the neighbors.

  I knocked once, which was stupid. There was so much noise in the house they wouldn’t be able to hear me. I opened the door and was immediately hit by the smell of barbecue. I smelled Mom’s baked beans with a ton of onion.

  “Lukas!” my Aunt Irene sai
d.

  “Happy Birthday!” I said and walked over to greet her.

  “I didn’t know you were coming,” she said.

  “I wouldn’t miss your birthday party,” I told her.

  “You’re a good boy,” she said. “Sit and tell me how you’ve been. I haven’t seen you in months.”

  “I’ve been good,” I told her. “Let me tell Mom I’m here. Can I get you a drink?”

  “You’re so thoughtful,” she said.

  “I’ll be back. Save my spot.”

  I went into the kitchen and found Mom at the stove. “Hey, Mom,” I said.

  “Oh, you’re here,” she said. “Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes.”

  “I need to get Aunt Irene a drink,” I said.

  “She’s drinking Diet Pepsi,” Mom said. “Not spiked. Her doctor told her she had to cut back.”

  I laughed. “Good luck with that.”

  “Don’t give in to her. She’s going to try and convince you to get her some liquor. Don’t do it.”

  “I’ll try, but I’m weak. You know that. I have no willpower when it comes to her demands.”

  She nodded. “I know, which is why I’m telling you not to do it. I will hold you responsible.”

  I held up my hands. “I’ll do my best, but I make no promises.”

  “Lukas, I’m warning you,” she said as I grabbed a can of soda from the ice chest in the corner.

  I carried it into the living room and sat down next to Irene. “Mom says not to let you convince me to spike that for you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Your mom worries too much. I’m Texan. We were born drinking and we’ll die drinking.”

  “I think she wants you to be alive a little longer before you go to your grave with a scotch in your hand.”